1. Go where your customers are.

www.greentruckonthego.com

Jacquelyne runs a tiny juice company called Chakwave. I met her in Los Angeles, standing next to an organic lunch truck. Like the little birds that clean the teeth of the hippo, there’s synergy here. The kind of person that visits the truck for lunch is the sort of person that would happily pay for something as wonderfully weird as her juice. And the truck owners benefit from the rolling festival farmer’s market feel that comes from having a synergistic partner set up on a bridge table right next door.

 I have had an intuition to locate myself in/ near Chateau St. Ambroise to be easily accessible to the many interesting small and medium sized businesses there. I even found a partner who will rent me commercial loft space in a very flexible manner.  There is nothing stopping me…except me.  Time to jump in!

2. Be micro-focused and the search engines will find you.

My friend Patti Jo is an extraordinary teacher and tutor. Her new business, The Scarsdale Tutor doesn’t need many clients in order to be successful. This permits her to focus obsessively and that gets rewarded with front page results on Google. Not because she’s tried to manipulate the seo (she hasn’t) but because this is exactly the page you’d hope to find if you typed “scarsdale tutor” into a search engine. Could she do this nationwide? Of course not. But she doesn’t want to or need to. Living on the long tail can be profitable.

I had lunch with my friend Tricia van der Walde, a Montreal massage therapist, this week. She said the same thing. She’s coming up first in Google for “Montreal lymphatic drainage”. It’s a speciality.  People are finding her.

3. Outlast the competition.

I was amazed at all the empty storefronts I saw in LA on my last visit. On one particular block, three or four of the ten lunch places were shut down. And the others? Doing great. That’s because the remaining office workers who used to eat lunch at the shuttered places had to eat somewhere, and so the survivors watched their business grow. A war of attrition is never pretty, but if you’re smart about overhead and scale, you’ll win it.

A number of my coach colleagues –Tanya Geisler, Minnie Richardson, Ian Renaud, and Marie-Claude LaPalme – are building their businesses during this recession. Each of them has been cautious about taking on big overhead. Each of them is growing organically by word of mouth and through other promotions. the point is that all of them are growing. So am I!

4. Leverage.

Rick Toone runs a tiny guitar-making operation. His lack of scale makes it easy for him to share. When others start using his designs, he doesn’t suffer (he can’t make any more guitars than he already is) he benefits, because as the originator of the design, his originals become more coveted, not less valuable. He leverages his insight and shares it as a free marketing device.

Michael Port, in his best sellling book Book Yourself Solid advises small business owners to “give away so much value that you think you’ve given too much and then give more”. He descibes a college friend of his used to order his hero sandwiches saying “put so much mayonnaise on it that you think you’ve ruined it, and then put some more!”.   Think mayonnaise and as Michael says, “invite prospective clients to experience what it is like to be around you and the people you serve”.

5. Respond.

This is the single biggest advantage you have over the big guys. Not only are you in charge, you also answer the phone and read your email and man the desk and set the prices. So don’t pretend you have a policy. Just be human.

It’s a lot to manage. And it is so rewarding!

See Seth’s original post here.

1. Go where your customers are.

www.greentruckonthego.com

Jacquelyne runs a tiny juice company called Chakwave. I met her in Los Angeles, standing next to an organic lunch truck. Like the little birds that clean the teeth of the hippo, there’s synergy here. The kind of person that visits the truck for lunch is the sort of person that would happily pay for something as wonderfully weird as her juice. And the truck owners benefit from the rolling festival farmer’s market feel that comes from having a synergistic partner set up on a bridge table right next door.

 I have had an intuition to locate myself in/ near Chateau St. Ambroise to be easily accessible to the many interesting small and medium sized businesses there. I even found a partner who will rent me commercial loft space in a very flexible manner.  There is nothing stopping me…except me.  Time to jump in!

2. Be micro-focused and the search engines will find you.

My friend Patti Jo is an extraordinary teacher and tutor. Her new business, The Scarsdale Tutor doesn’t need many clients in order to be successful. This permits her to focus obsessively and that gets rewarded with front page results on Google. Not because she’s tried to manipulate the seo (she hasn’t) but because this is exactly the page you’d hope to find if you typed “scarsdale tutor” into a search engine. Could she do this nationwide? Of course not. But she doesn’t want to or need to. Living on the long tail can be profitable.

I had lunch with my friend Tricia van der Walde, a Montreal massage therapist, this week. She said the same thing. She’s coming up first in Google for “Montreal lymphatic drainage”. It’s a speciality.  People are finding her.

3. Outlast the competition.

I was amazed at all the empty storefronts I saw in LA on my last visit. On one particular block, three or four of the ten lunch places were shut down. And the others? Doing great. That’s because the remaining office workers who used to eat lunch at the shuttered places had to eat somewhere, and so the survivors watched their business grow. A war of attrition is never pretty, but if you’re smart about overhead and scale, you’ll win it.

A number of my coach colleagues –Tanya Geisler, Minnie Richardson, Ian Renaud, and Marie-Claude LaPalme – are building their businesses during this recession. Each of them has been cautious about taking on big overhead. Each of them is growing organically by word of mouth and through other promotions. the point is that all of them are growing. So am I!

4. Leverage.

Rick Toone runs a tiny guitar-making operation. His lack of scale makes it easy for him to share. When others start using his designs, he doesn’t suffer (he can’t make any more guitars than he already is) he benefits, because as the originator of the design, his originals become more coveted, not less valuable. He leverages his insight and shares it as a free marketing device.

Michael Port, in his best sellling book Book Yourself Solid advises small business owners to “give away so much value that you think you’ve given too much and then give more”. He descibes a college friend of his used to order his hero sandwiches saying “put so much mayonnaise on it that you think you’ve ruined it, and then put some more!”.   Think mayonnaise and as Michael says, “invite prospective clients to experience what it is like to be around you and the people you serve”.

5. Respond.

This is the single biggest advantage you have over the big guys. Not only are you in charge, you also answer the phone and read your email and man the desk and set the prices. So don’t pretend you have a policy. Just be human.

It’s a lot to manage. And it is so rewarding!

See Seth’s original post here.

M-Girl Annie Cremont

She describes her Synkro event as a Tour de Force…an opportunity to make people feel good and dance more. And it is. And so is she! She’s the M Girl– Annie Cremont–owner of ExperiencesM and creator of Synkro.

Dancing makes people feel good. It helps them get in sync with their mind and body. It is my personal mission to make 1 million people dance in the next three years.

I know she will succeed. But in case you think Annie is another Where the hell is Matt?, she’s not. While they both have big visions, an international focus, and a love of getting people to dance, Synkro is a a fully integrated, tested program that helps initially self -conscious people to get in touch with their own unique rhythm as a form of communication.

It is the perfect program to open or close a big conference or corporate meeting. It is also a perfect event to raise money for health and wellness because it helps people be in touch with themselves.

At a recent convention in Phoenix, Arizona, for the National Speakers Association (NSA), a show case for North America’s top speakers, many eyes were turned her way. She believes her timing to enter the US market is perfect.

As the economy comes out of recession under Obama’s leadership, the US is more open than ever to doing things differently. The US needs to dance!

 M-Girl knows what she is talking about and she knows how to sell her concept. In 1999, fresh out of business school at HEC, Annie created Station M, an advertising and marketing agency. That gave her almost a decade of experience and a very large network. In 2008, she made a life altering decision to wind down Station M operations and pursue her dream to develop Synkro.  She followed her gut when she realized that the 2-3 minute dance portion she added into each presentation she did on selling was the highlight for her and her audience.

Annie Cremont, the M-Girl, is a spectacular example of someone who is following her dreams and living her life aligned to her values. She radiates energy; she is smart and generous and she is going to make a million people dance by 2011.

If you would like to have a Synkro experience in Montreal, check out Annie’s special invitation for Monday Auguest 17th. She’s running a pilot and the costs are on her.  If you miss out on the 17th, you can register for her next live Synkro which will be held at Gallery Art Avenue in Old Montreal on September 30th.

Subscribe to M-News or join Synkro group on Facebook

M-Girl Annie Cremont

She describes her Synkro event as a Tour de Force…an opportunity to make people feel good and dance more. And it is. And so is she! She’s the M Girl– Annie Cremont–owner of ExperiencesM and creator of Synkro.

Dancing makes people feel good. It helps them get in sync with their mind and body. It is my personal mission to make 1 million people dance in the next three years.

I know she will succeed. But in case you think Annie is another Where the hell is Matt?, she’s not. While they both have big visions, an international focus, and a love of getting people to dance, Synkro is a a fully integrated, tested program that helps initially self -conscious people to get in touch with their own unique rhythm as a form of communication.

It is the perfect program to open or close a big conference or corporate meeting. It is also a perfect event to raise money for health and wellness because it helps people be in touch with themselves.

At a recent convention in Phoenix, Arizona, for the National Speakers Association (NSA), a show case for North America’s top speakers, many eyes were turned her way. She believes her timing to enter the US market is perfect.

As the economy comes out of recession under Obama’s leadership, the US is more open than ever to doing things differently. The US needs to dance!

 M-Girl knows what she is talking about and she knows how to sell her concept. In 1999, fresh out of business school at HEC, Annie created Station M, an advertising and marketing agency. That gave her almost a decade of experience and a very large network. In 2008, she made a life altering decision to wind down Station M operations and pursue her dream to develop Synkro.  She followed her gut when she realized that the 2-3 minute dance portion she added into each presentation she did on selling was the highlight for her and her audience.

Annie Cremont, the M-Girl, is a spectacular example of someone who is following her dreams and living her life aligned to her values. She radiates energy; she is smart and generous and she is going to make a million people dance by 2011.

If you would like to have a Synkro experience in Montreal, check out Annie’s special invitation for Monday Auguest 17th. She’s running a pilot and the costs are on her.  If you miss out on the 17th, you can register for her next live Synkro which will be held at Gallery Art Avenue in Old Montreal on September 30th.

Subscribe to M-News or join Synkro group on Facebook

Minnie felt concern that doing coaching in 15 minute bursts could make coaching like a fast food. Since we want coaches of Minnie`s calibre to join us in our endeavour, I took her concern seriously. Like her, I normally coach my clients in 45-50 minute sessions. However, she and I talked about cases where coaching was very effective in a much shorter format. We also agreed that it takes sustained effort over time for most clients to achieve the results they want. Coaching isn`t a quick fix but it can be a fast fire starter for ideas and change.

During my training and certification training, I participated in weekly triads with two other coach colleagues where we alternated roles between coachee, coach, and observer. We always set a timer for 15 minutes and when the time was up, the time was up.  Every week I was amazed at the power of the coaching (of course, the more trained and practiced we became, the more powerful the coaching became!).  There were times when I was in tears, uproarious laughter and everything in between. There was always some value and insight to be learned and something to ponder or do as a result.

When I step outside of coaching, I can think of millions of things one can accomplish in 15 minutes. It seems I am not alone. Top Google results yielded these links. 

 You can do anything in just 15 minutes

What you can do in 15 minutes

Top 10 things you can do with 15 minutes

 20 useful things you can accomplish in 15 minutes

Can you devote 15 minutes a day to frugality?

15 things you can do with just 15 minutes a day

 So whether you spend 15 minutes conceiving a child, getting married, or cleaning out your junk drawer, remember that a lot can happen in 15 minutes if you set an intention and show up powerfully.

Stay tuned for more info on our upcoming offering. It will be particularly interesting if you live in Montreal or Toronto!

Minnie felt concern that doing coaching in 15 minute bursts could make coaching like a fast food. Since we want coaches of Minnie`s calibre to join us in our endeavour, I took her concern seriously. Like her, I normally coach my clients in 45-50 minute sessions. However, she and I talked about cases where coaching was very effective in a much shorter format. We also agreed that it takes sustained effort over time for most clients to achieve the results they want. Coaching isn`t a quick fix but it can be a fast fire starter for ideas and change.

During my training and certification training, I participated in weekly triads with two other coach colleagues where we alternated roles between coachee, coach, and observer. We always set a timer for 15 minutes and when the time was up, the time was up.  Every week I was amazed at the power of the coaching (of course, the more trained and practiced we became, the more powerful the coaching became!).  There were times when I was in tears, uproarious laughter and everything in between. There was always some value and insight to be learned and something to ponder or do as a result.

When I step outside of coaching, I can think of millions of things one can accomplish in 15 minutes. It seems I am not alone. Top Google results yielded these links. 

 You can do anything in just 15 minutes

What you can do in 15 minutes

Top 10 things you can do with 15 minutes

 20 useful things you can accomplish in 15 minutes

Can you devote 15 minutes a day to frugality?

15 things you can do with just 15 minutes a day

 So whether you spend 15 minutes conceiving a child, getting married, or cleaning out your junk drawer, remember that a lot can happen in 15 minutes if you set an intention and show up powerfully.

Stay tuned for more info on our upcoming offering. It will be particularly interesting if you live in Montreal or Toronto!

TEDBanner from website

In the end… we’re talking about choice… You choose your response to what shows up in your life-either as a conscious response or an unconscious reaction. When you simply react, it means you are choosing the way of the Victim. If, on the other hand, you stay mindful of current reality and determine how best to respond, you’ve entered The Empowerment Dynamic.

In last month’s TED* Letter we explored addiction to drama from the perspective of being in relationship – personal or professional – with someone else who is the addict. This month we turn our attention to an even tougher challenge: when we are the one who is addicted to drama. Admitting an addiction is the first step to transforming your relationship to the addictive behavior – as anyone who is familiar with the 12-step recovery process well knows. Addiction is part of the human experience and we all – at least to some extent – have addictions. All addiction pulls us into – and perpetuates – the Dreaded Drama Triangle (DDT). Each of the roles – Victim, Persecutor and Rescuer – has their own ways of fanning the flames and keeping the drama alive. The addiction to drama is fueled by the adrenaline rush of anxiety (or even fear) and results in reactivity in a variety of forms. So, when you “go reactive” (and we all do), which of the DDT role(s) do you gravitate toward? You may have one primary role or you may play all of them, depending on the situation. As you read the following descriptions of how each role plays out their drama addiction, pay attention to where discomfort arises. That may be the very place(s) to look!

• Victim as Drama Addict – On the surface it may seem improbable that a person in the Victim role would “want” to perpetuate the drama. However, if one has adopted Victimhood as a way of being and a self-identity, there are a number of payoffs. (For more on Victimhood, see the February, 2006 and May, 2008 issues of “The TED* Letter” in the archives.) One primary payoff is the abdication of responsibility and accountability. “It’s not my fault,” is the song of the Victim and blaming a Persecutor for their powerlessness is the refrain. Another is that the Victim then can look for and become dependent on a Rescuer – be it a person or a thing, such as alcohol, drugs or some other way of numbing out from the feelings of powerlessness. A Victim may feel justified in lashing back at the Persecutor (“an eye for an eye”) and, in so doing, become a Persecutor themselves and add fuel to the flames of the drama.

• Persecutor as Drama Addict – Persecutors are pivotal to the DDT. The Persecutor often gets the ball rolling or keeps it in play. There are a variety of ways in which this can happen, all of which stem from the Persecutor’s need to be “one up” and/or to dominate the Victim. The need to be right; the show of superiority; the blaming of the Victim for their circumstances are all ways the Perpetrator can ignite the drama. Arrogance, criticizing, finger-pointing, fault-finding and controlling may be ways in which the Persecutor’s personality expresses itself. Such behavior sometimes is conscious and purposeful, but many times it stems from the Persecutor’s own reactivity and fear of their own Victimhood. In either case, there can be the addictive “rush” that comes from the sense of righteousness that characterizes a Persecutor.

• Rescuer as Drama Addict – A Rescuer loves to be the hero, rushing in to “save the day.” When they do, they enjoy the satisfaction – the “high” – of righting the wrong or putting out the “fire.” Only, in so doing, they reinforce the powerlessness of the Victim and perpetuate the drama (even if it seems to alleviate the “pain” of the moment). A Rescuer may even be so addicted to their role that they create the very situation into which they can later insert themselves as the hero (for example, “Savior Sam” mentioned in last months issue). What a drama-addicted Rescuer most fears is not being needed. When they do not feel needed, they then feel rejected or abandoned and move into the Victim role. Of course this only serves to keep drama alive. Which of the brief descriptions above elicited the most response from you?

Do you see glimpses of yourself in any one – or all three? I do. Here is an example from my own life – a “true confession” to illustrate both a previous addiction and the way I have transformed my relationship to it: Because of some early childhood experiences, I was “wired” to be hypersensitive to the possibility of abandonment in my relationships with “significant others.” The fear of becoming a Victim of such rejection drove the drama addiction. If I began to suspect any form of abandonment, I would react in one of two ways: Either by saying something harsh or cynical – thereby stepping into the role of Persecutor to get her to react and engage with me – or by withdrawing or pouting in hopes that she would react by becoming the Rescuer and making me feel better. Either reaction on my part perpetuated the drama and fed my addiction to it! As I came to identify the pattern, I looked for the “dream that was denied or thwarted” – what it was that I was really after.

In The Power of TED*, Ted points out that “All Victims have experienced a loss – a thwarted dream or aspiration…” (page 17, second edition). What I came to see is that both reactive strategies were dysfunctional attempts to create connection. As a Persecutor, I could get her to react and interact with me (though not pleasantly!) and playing the Victim so that she would be my Rescuer only served to reinforce the underlying sense of powerlessness and neediness. As a result, I now ask for what I want or need in my relationship with my wife and, if twinges of the old pattern emerge, I speak directly about the feelings so that we can process the situation as co-Creators. As this brief example illustrates, there are several simple (though not always easy!) steps you can take to break your own cycle of addiction to drama. 

 1. Identify and own your default drama role(s) – In what ways do you initiate and/or perpetuate drama in your personal and professional life? When you “go reactive” and enter the drama, which role(s) do you default to? As you take on the role of Victim, Persecutor and/or Rescuer, what is a typical way in which the drama plays out? What are the “payoffs” for you in the role(s)? What are the most common unintended consequences that come from continuing the drama?

2. Discern the “dream or desire” behind the behavior - What is it you really want? If a Victim, what is the dream or desire that has been denied or thwarted? If a Persecutor, is your behavior to prove your worth; to be right; to be superior – or is it to urge growth and development? If a Rescuer, are you wanting to be the “hero” and save the day and fix the other person or situation – or is to be of support in helping others find their own solutions?

3. Make the shift from DDT to TED* (*The Empowerment Dynamic) roles – As a Victim, shift your focus from reacting to what you don’t want or like to focusing on what you do want and take baby steps to move in that direction as a Creator. If a Persecutor, by shifting from an intention to look good/be right into a “learning intention” for yourself and others, you can become a Challenger that sparks growth and development. If a Rescuer, by shifting from seeing the other as a problem to fix into holding them as inherently capable and resourceful, you can support them by helping them clarify their own outcomes and create their own solutions. (Much more on how to make the shift between roles can be found in The Power of TED*.)

As human beings we will always be challenged by the push and pull of drama in our lives. By increasing our awareness of those ways in which we may be addicted to drama and how we initiate and/or perpetuate the toxic DDT, we can claim our capacity as a Creator to transform those old, outdated and habitual patterns into new, empowered, more resourceful – and more rewarding – ways of thinking, being and taking action. 

Putting TED* into Practice: Breaking the Cycle This practice is best done as a journal exercise. Use the three steps above to identify and explore your own drama addiction patterns; discern your true intention, dream and/or desire; and commit to the making the shift in your roles and relationships.

Written and edited by David Emerald © 2009