As published in the NY Times from The L Word

I am just back from the kitchen. I made a pan of date squares for my dear friend Milla who had to put her cat Felix down yesterday. In truth, while I would have made something to bring her anyway, I made the date squares to avoid screaming &*%#! because I wrote this entire post already this a.m. and lost it somehow when I went to add this image. So, you could say this post has some bad karma around it.  Ironicallly, it is about good karma. So: Take 2.

This a.m. I got an email from my friend Bonnie Jean.

Email heading: Now are ya alive woman?

Email body: Just the one word answer is sufficient.

Bonnie Jean had left me a voice mail last week and I hadn’t yet returned it.  The wonderful thing about our friendship (and my friendships in general), is that Bonnie Jean really did just want to sknow how I was. She wouldn’t be annoyed even if I didn’t call her back for several more weeks.  She may have sent out an APB if I hadn’t managed to muster a one word email response though. We have that kind of friendship.  Whatever we do for each other is always good enough.

And on the topic of good enough, Bonnie Jean has long supported the idea of living life in medium. She brought it up again today.  I have heard it so many times over the years that I can’t remember today’s context.  Her idea is that living your life in medium is the way to go.  Her medium means even-keeled, balanced, or without drama or extremes. I think the concept first emerged years ago when I was lamenting over this relationship or that  and was generally caught in some big drama to which she would say, “Medium, Lisa, think medium!”.

I am all for medium when I feel like medium.  Of course, the whole concept flies in the face of coaching .  I often work with my clients to help them expand their emotional range.  It helps them find fulfillment in their lives and businesses. 

Master Coach Deborah Coleman used the analogy of a piano keyboard in my very first coaching course and it has stuck with me ever since.  Deborah helped me see that is only though being able to tickle the high notes and the low notes, that one can live fully. So living a life in medium, or let’s call it middle C, might not be all it’s cracked up to be (unless you have bi-polar disorder, in which case, medium would be a very desirable place to be).

In fairness, Bonnie Jean is the mother of 3 kids.  From her perspective, medium is likely a delightful absence of vomit and middle of the night bed wetting. 

Perspective aside, as much as I love Bonnie Jean and her truisms, I cannot support the theory of  medium. What I can support is full keyboard living, purposely cooking up a distraction when you need to, and an ability to bring yourself to medium/ middle C whenever you need a rest.

P.S. I may write a future post on Bonnie Jean’s other main theme today:  A woman cannot work, have kids, have a clean house, be sane AND be skinny.