…Heather Rossiter of Charlottetown, PEI, whose entry for Boy or Girl: Care to Wager? was within an hour and a pound! Heather submittted March 5th at 10:00 a.m. weighing 5 lbs 8 oz. Lalia MacLeod Chandler (Lali) arrived at 11:13 a.m. on the 5th and weighed 6 lbs 8 oz. Congratulations Heather! There hasn’t been even a moment post your victory until now so I expect your cookies will take a bit of time to get to you but I promise I will come good on the contest.
Here’s a photo of Lali taken during the past few days. She was beautiful to start with and becomes even more so with each passing day.
Sound asleep on her Nana
Thanks everyone for your participation. It was certainly fun leading up to her birth and a good distraction for me too.
I just finished making cookies (see the packages below). Is this nesting behaviour or simply a craving? No matter. Tomorrow I am 39 weeks pregnant and I just had the idea that it would be fun to have a blog contest. My brother Tim and his wife Natasha called me last night from Singapore (they are travelling around the world for 7 months) and urged me to get my father going on taking bets in the family. He’s agreed to be our bookie for the family but let’s make this little competition a little more interesting.
The Contest
Penelope Trunk sent out books. I have been promising to send out cookies so here’s the deal: Guess the baby’s sex and then come closest in terms of birth date, time of birth and birth weight, ; if you are the winner, I will send you a big batch of cookies in the mail (or deliver them to you if you are in Montreal) as soon as I adjust to being a new mother.
Here are a few facts to help you (and to even the playing field a bit):
My due date is March 4th (one week from tomorrow);
My doctor doesn’t want to let me go over my due date by much if at all (given my age);
The estimated weight of the baby at the last ultrasound (at 34 weeks) was 5 lbs 3 oz which was precisely average.
Ok…so….is my bundle a girl?
Or a boy?
When will he/ she be born (date and time)?
How much will he/ she weigh?
A big batch of cookies hangs in the balance so let’s hear from you below in the comments section by midnight tomorrow (Friday the 25th, 2011).
Judging
To qualify, you need to get the sex right; next you need to be closet to the date and time without going over (like The Price is Right); finally, I will look at birth weight.
________
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Photo from Cafe Johnsonia blog site at cafejohnsonia.blogspot.com
My friend James and I were talking about happiness yesterday over tea and delicious lemon cookies (I add the cookie detail because it’s hard not to be happy, at least for a short while, when one is consuming delectable cookies). James is not the kind of guy to laugh and smile all the time yet he is consistently a very peaceful and contented guy. I tend to agree with the happiness set point theory which essentially says that we all have a genetically determined mood level that the vagaries of life may nudge upward or downward, but only for a while until we return to our set point.
I have been appreciating how happy I feel lately as I expect my baby, am learning all kinds of new things, have just wrapped up some very meaningful coaching work with a number of clients and am surrounded by support. Perhaps I am enjoying how my life circumstances have nudged me upward for now. In honour of this, I want to share a few resources:
My close friend and fellow coach Tanya Geisler just launched The Joy Pages. She wrote The Joy Pages in honour of her mom who died several years ago. Her mom lived by the mantra “don’t postpone joy!” and Tanya has wanted to create these pages for a long time. You can download her interactive workbook for free by subscribing at her site; just look to the right hand side for the beautiful trees that are sprawling off the margins on purpose!
I am getting really sick of Oprah. I caught as bit of one of her shows while she was in Australia and thought to myself “Good God, this woman is really over the top with all her favourite things…”. Martha Beck, life coach, on the other hand, often writes worthwhile articles in O Magazine. Last month she wrote The 20 Questions That Could Change Your Life. In coaching, we are all about powerful questions and I believe Martha has hit on some that really measure up for those looking for meaningful/ happy lives.
Our March book club selection is The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin. Keener that I am, I bought it and read it this week in the hopes that even though my baby will surely be born by our book club meeting, I might be able to attend with my babe. I really didn’t like this book and I cannot tell you exactly why. I think it is because Gretchen’s year long happiness project had too many foci, too many rules, too many projects and was too damn cerebral. I did, however, like her notion of creating her own splendid truths and some personal commandments. Read this book if you really want to make happiness a serious project.
Be an experiential epicure. A steady diet of simple pleasures will keep you above your set point. Find the small things that you know give you a little high — a good meal, working in the garden, time with friends — and sprinkle your life with them. In the long run, that will leave you happier than some grand achievement that gives you a big lift for a while.
Andy Warhol Shower Cupcakes ..."the idea of waiting for something makes it more enticing". The cupcakes at the other shower were "to die for" too!
This past Saturday I attended Bientôt Bébe, the hospital’s prenatal course, at the Royal Victoria where I will be delivering my baby sometime very soon. I was THE only single woman there among a sea of a dozen couples. The nurse who was leading the course didn’t seem used to having single women in the class and her language the entire day was focussed on the couple. When it came time to practice massage during labour, I was the “lucky” contestant called to the stage to be her guinea pig.
Fortunately, I have thick skin about this stuff. Even still, as we watched the video in which the husband was incredibly supportive during labour (many friends who are mothers would say this is the exception), I found myself feeling sad and very on my own. Certainly, I would love to to sharing the birthing process and my newborn with a loving partner and father. Ultimately though, I chose to have a baby myself because it didn’t feel right to create a family with any of the men I have been in relationships with. As I have told many friends, I have a lot of confidence that I will someday be sharing my child with a loving partner. I am just doing it backwards out of biological necessity. Perhaps my love life will unfold in keeping with this kookie horoscope a friend sent me earlier this week:
“CANCER (June 21-July 22): Your love story has elements of a farce mixed
with a soap opera, fairy tale, and ghost story. For a normal human being,
it might be too intense and convoluted to deal with; it requires so much
willing suspension of disbelief and involves so much letting go of certainty
that no one in their right mind would agree to its demands. Luckily, you’re
not a normal human being these days, and you’re not particularly in your
right mind. That’s why I say unto you: Ride this snaky tale for all it’s
worth. Enjoy every plot twist and riddle as if you’ve been given an epic
myth you can ponder and learn from for the next ten years. Happy
Valentine Daze, Cancerian!”
The flip side to this “woe is me” perspective above is that I have been showered with support through my fertility journey and particularly though my pregnancy. I cannot tell you if I have had more support as a single woman than a woman in a couple would have had but I suspect the answer is YES.
The newly painted baby room and some adorable gifts hanging out together.
If you read my last post, you know I like to make lists. I would love to make comprehensive list of all the support I have had just to see it for myself but I will surely forget to acknowledge someone. Instead I will talk in slightly more general terms: Two close friends hosted baby showers for me in Toronto and Montreal respectively. My Toastmasters group also held a “baby shower” themed evening; another close friend attended many medical procedures with me and will be with me in labour too; my dad flew up to Montreal last week from Charlottetown to do house projects and my aunt had flown up earlier and help me get organized; friends have done everything from sort baby clothes hand me downs to moving furniture and have even painted the baby room from top to bottom; other friends and my sister gave me maternity clothes (and baby clothes); my landlord has been shovelling all the snow; some of my clients have sent gifts; my mom is flying up on my due date to help me for 3 weeks! And I even received a baby book in the mail from my favourite blogger Penelope Trunk, who said I didn’t really qualify for her book give away offer because my baby wasn’t even born yet and then proceeded to send me a lovely book with a yellow bow anyway!
Duck at the Door from Penelope Trunk
And so, what I am learning these days is that perhaps I can have everything I want in life, just not all at the same time. And that having a supportive family and an incredible group of friends, colleagues and clients helps me feel strong. I am certainly not alone in any of this. And I am GRATEFUL.
______________
I have given myself full permission to blog on whatever topic inspires me these days. Generally, I like to tie my posts to some type of business theme. As I wrap up my work to take a few months off for a maternity leave, I am naturally more in tune with my naval and all things baby. Nonetheless, I think there are parallels one can draw to business too. Being an entrepreneur can be a very lonely endeavour unless one is surrounded by a village of support.
——
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My Nanny MacLeod in her new residence being visited by my brother's dog Gracie.
Two weeks ago, my family (well, really my parents and my aunt) moved my 90 year old grandmother from her own home near my parents place to a community care home.
The Not So Funny Part
A number of years ago, Nanny was diagnosed as having early stage Alzheimer’s Disease. At the time, she was simply forgetful. Since her diagnosis, she has managed to live in her own home albeit with ever increasing support from my parents, my aunt and several neighbours. For as long as I can remember, her response to “how are you?” has been “physically, I am fine…but there is not much between my ears”. Nonetheless, in her mind, she has still been taking out her own garbage, cooking her own meals, baking, and cutting her own grass. In reality, she has no short-term memory and hasn’t been doing any of this for a long while. Ironically, she still does the daily word jumble and cryptoquote from The Guardian. That baffles the mind.
Reaching an agreement to move Nanny took a very long time and was very hard on my mom and my aunt for different reasons. It was particularly difficult because my grandmother threatened to go kicking and screaming and a few times even suggested she would take poison if they attempted to move her.
I spent one night with my grandmother in a hotel room in Halifax this past September during my brother’s wedding. Several times during the night, I witnessed her efforts to claw her way out of the room in total confusion. Admittedly, I wasn’t convinced she would settle into a new setting very easily. What I was convinced about, though, was the need for my mother and my aunt to take some type of action, at least on a trial basis.
The Make You Smile Part
Two weeks ago, the long discussed move went down. I think we all held our breath to see what would happen. My family did everything they could to make it easy on Nanny (i.e. my dad moved her TV and stereo in before she arrived, my mother stayed overnight with her the first night, my aunt played cribbage with her as a distraction, her neighbours arrived with flowers and chocolates etc.). And while she was pretty confused by nightfall, she didn’t bolt for the door. And she didn’t take poison!
The Make You Laugh Out Loud Part
About a week ago, we all got this email from my mom:
Thought you would all be interested in knowing what Nanny has been up to during the past week. I had a chat with the activity director at Andrew’s today and she tells me that Mom has attended all of the scheduled events and always appears to be fully participating and enjoying herself. I know she does not remember where she has been [after the fact] but when in the moment she is happy.
Here’s what she has been doing:
Several afternoon concerts
Fun and Fitness (4 mornings a week)
Church (twice already)
Resident birthday party (held once a month for all those who celebrate in the month)
Choir Practice
Bible study
And you will love this one-yeesterday she went to ukelele lessons!!!!
Tomorrow is Bingo and Monday is games day.
… That’s a lot of progress in one week don’t you think? I walked her down to supper and she went in smiling and took her seat. Yesterday, I took her out for a hair cut and she just walked right back in without question. Perhaps there are good things about not having any short term memory.
I know that there will be set backs but it has convinced me that she is in the right place.
My parents took Nanny to their home for dinner on Saturday night and upon returning her back to her new home, she asked the front desk clerk, “Have any men been calling for me?” Often, her lack of inhibitions can be irksome and inappropriate. Sometimes it is just downright playful and funny!
This Whole StoryRe-affirms a Few Things For Me:
When in doubt, choose forward motion and make a decision (and then do everything in your power to make sure it was a good decision or be willing to make a new decision if things don’t pan out);
At 35 weeks pregnant, I look cuter than this groundhog but our dimensions could be similar.
This morning, I saw my obstetrician for a regular visit. I have been noticing lately that each visit unfolds in exactly the same way:
Nurse/ receptionist: “Go pee and then I will weigh you” (She actually says, “Did you go pee pees yet?” but I find it hard to write this and I find it so bizarre that these playful baby talk words come from HER mouth).
Me: I say nothing and simply move fast. I have learned that she doesn’t actually want me to reply. She just wants me to produce the peed upon little litmus stick with as little fuss as humanly possible.
Nurse/ receptionist: She weighs me in lbs and kgs and then indicates for me to sit so she can take my blood pressure. No conversation takes place and somehow I know I am not to speak. When all the accounting is done, she says, “Come on. Follow me.” I know by the swiftness of her pace I am supposed to hurry.
My OB/GYN: “Bonjour! Ça va bien?”
Me: “Oui!”
Him: “Any contractions, discharge, bleeding?”
Me: “No. Just Braxton Hicks.”
Him: “The kid is moving?”
Me: “Lots”
Him: “Do you talk to the kid?”
Me: “Sometimes. Not enough.”
Him: “Ok. I’m going to step out. You take your clothes off from the waist down. I”ll be right back and we’ll check your cervix.” He returns moments later, measures my uterus with a tape measure and then says: “Ok. It’s going to be cold…” (He does the cervical examine…it takes him about 5 seconds) ”Good. Cervix is long, closed. The way we like it.” He says the exact same phrase everytime.
Me: “Great”
Him: “Ok. I will step out again and be back in a minute.” I get dressed and brush up on my questions before he reappears. ”Questions?”
Me: ”Is it ok to eat and drink during labour? I usually have about 3-4 questions so this is just a sample.
Him: “I have no objections. Next question?”
And so it continues until I have all my questions answered. Sometimes there is something else like a requisition for standard blood tests or an ultrasound that throws off the routine a little. But mostly we stick to the script. He’s kind and nice and efficient. It encourages the same in me.
I usually get a little bonus parting comment at the end: “You don’t have diabetes so eat what you want!” or my recent personal favourite,”You have an excellent recipe for success!” Comments like these come with a little sly smile.
Unlike my pregnancy itself, which seems to bring something new each day– nausea, heartburn, aching hips, a tender lower back, growing breasts, puffy legs, no symptoms at all (rare but it has occurred) or manic levels of energy–each of my doctor’s appointments have been practically identical. It’s like I am living in the movie Ground Hog Day.
And what I am learning, after repeat attempts at getting pregnant, is that this little doctor patient routine is incredibly reassuring and the perfect treatment for this patient!
In this unpredictable life, what routines reassure you?
A special homemade cake for Rowan's 4th birthday, January 2011.
I haven’t posted in more than a month and I cannot tell you how many times I have planned to post and how many ideas I have had about things I wanted to write about. I was fully intending on writing about what I am most proud of in 2010 like I did last year. And now it’s January 23rd and I haven’t done it. It’s truly ironic because there are so many things I feel so good about in 2010 (like finally succeeding to get pregnant, growing my coaching business substantially, spending some fantastic times with my family and friends, and making this kick ass cake for Rowan).
My close friend (and fellow coach) Tanya Geisler helped me break my writer’s block this past week through a simple reframe (she’s a very good coach):
What if your blog was just for you? What if you stopped writing what you think your readers want to hear and simply wrote about what you are learning?
Shear and simple brilliance! Shifting my focus to making my blog a journal of what I am learning (on any subject from leadership development to making complicated cakes) gives me a lot of freedom to simply write. I was telling Tanya that I enjoy recaping sections of business books I am reading as it helps me to solidfy my own understanding of the topic. Tanya again:
Great! Write to lock in your own learning. There are sure to be others who will appreciate that. But let their enjoyment be a by- product and drop the pressure to write for them.
Last Monday I attended a presentation by C.C. Chapman, author of Content Rules at 3rd Tuesday in Montreal (and yes 3rd Tues was on a Monday as Toronto got him on the Tues.). I didn’t get much from his talk other than “write about what you like and be yourself”. I have heard this message before. Combined with Tanya’s reframe though, it started to sink in.
And so it shall be. I will be writing about what I am learning and taking the pressure off writing specifically for small business owners or corporate leaders or woman going through transition. Maybe I wil change my mind in a while. Maybe my blog will start being all about mompreneurs as offered by my friend Deb Hinton (my baby is due in less than 6 weeks). From where I sit at the moment though, with a decent sized belly, some heartburn and no baby in my arms yet, I actually hope not… but I won’t make any promises. Life as I know it is about to change!
Picture this: you are a barista at a Second Cup attending to your customers on a typical Monday morning. One of your regular customers walks in and asks for her regular coffee and then you notice she`s accompanied by a photographer, a camera man and a few other people..and they are all looking at you.
Anita Nowak and Raquel Lanziner. Photo by Dario Ayala, Montreal Gazette photographer.
The regular customer, my friend Anita Nowak launches into a little story about how she and a group of friends get together each year at Christmas to raise money for charity and how this year, $1675 was raised for the David Suzuki Foundation. Raquel, the barista, listens attentively and gradually realizes that the cameras are there to photograph her as Anita tells her that our group has decided to redirect $600 of the funds to her so she can have an MRI to diagnose the back pain that has stopped her from being able to ballet dance.
Raquel, overwhelmed with the news yet still full of grace, comes around the counter to hug Anita (I got one too!); she cannot believe this is happening to her. She thought she would have to wait 6 months to a year for the MRI; she really didn`t know what she was going to do because just last week she was among 3 people invited to a special workshop in Banff for summer 2011 but her spot would be given to someone else if she couldn`t dance.
Susan Schwartz, Gazetter reporter, was there to capture the story. And because of Susan`s story (and Anita`s media savy), the story continued to gain momentum. There is a follow up story in this morning`s Gazette.
Since the story ran in yesterday`s paper there have been the following highlights:
1) Susan Schwartz received this email (which shall remain anonymous):
Drinking my morning coffee, reading the paper, and you hit the spot. Please allow me to share in the glow of goodwill and kindness of Anita and friends. I would like to make up the $600 to the wonderful Suzuki association, AND important to me, pay Anita’s ticket (we stayed longer than we thought and Anita got a parking ticket). Good Karma needed and deserved here…while I am no scientist, there apparently is research that shows that the true act of giving creates real positive hormonal responses…I’m finishing writing this letter to you feeling pretty good, with a smile on my face, and it’s a wonderful way to start the day…please pass my warmest regards to Anita and friends…maybe next year, she will allow me to send a small token of my respect to her group’s organization of choice.
2) Montreal physician Sheldon Elman, CEO of the Medisys Health Group, called to offer an MRI for Lanziner at no charge;
3) Physician Jeffrey Brock, CEO of a company called MedExtra, emailed to offer to review Lanziner’s MRI and propose a treatment plan, also at no charge.
4) Sgt. David Sedgwick of Westmount Public Security emailed Anita: “In the spirit of the season, and to keep the ‘good karma’ intact, I’d like to offer to take back the parking ticket that you received” .
5) At 1 p.m. yesterday Raquel had her MRI at Medvue. Dr. Elman phoned her later with the results: a herniated disc, which she is confident can be managed with rest and other conservative treatment.
Today, Raquel is flying home to Vancouver for the holidays, armed with the knowledge that her back problem is curable and she will dance again!
I have been cleaning out my filing cabinet for what seems like days. It’s 95% done now and boy oh boy does it feel good. It’s like cleaning out one’s files, cleans out one’s head! Anyway, I came across a single sheet that someone sent to me last year (I wish I could remember who the sender was). It’s called She Let Go and it was written by Ernest Holmes, in Science of the Mind which was first published in 1926. I am filing in under “Inspiration” as of now.
This time last year, I was in a very different place. I had just had a miscarriage and this short reading really hit the spot. This year, I am in a very different place…29 weeks weeks pregnant tomorrow! Maybe it’s because I let go?
She Let Go
She let go. Without a thought or a word, she let go.
She let go of the fear. She let go of the judgments. She let go of the confluence of opinions swarming around her head. She let go of the committee of indecision within her. She let go of all the ‘right’ reasons. Wholly and completely, without hesitation or worry, she just let go.
She didn’t ask anyone for advice. She didn’t read a book on how to let go. She didn’t search the scriptures. She just let go. She let go of all of the memories that held her back. She let go of all of the anxiety that kept her from moving forward. She let go of the planning and all of the calculations about how to do it just right.
She didn’t promise to let go. She didn’t journal about it. She didn’t write the projected date in her Day-Timer. She made no public announcement and put no ad in the paper. She didn’t check the weather report or read her daily horoscope. She just let go.
She didn’t analyze whether she should let go. She didn’t call her friends to discuss the matter. She didn’t do a five-step Spiritual Mind Treatment. She didn’t call the prayer line. She didn’t utter one word. She just let go.
No one was around when it happened. There was no applause or congratulations. No one thanked her or praised her. No one noticed a thing. Like a leaf falling from a tree, she just let go.
There was no effort. There was no struggle. It wasn’t good and it wasn’t bad. It was what it was, and it is just that.
In the space of letting go, she let it all be. A small smile came over her face. A light breeze blew through her. And the sun and the moon shone forevermore.
_______
What do you quietly need to let go of without effort or struggle to bring a small smile to your face?
Back in June my friend Deborah Hinton sent me a link to a post entitled Life After Worry. At the time, I was busy so I filed it for future reading….like on a Friday night when I had planned to attend a Christmas party but feel too tired to go out in the cold again. Given some events of this week, I cannot get over the timeliness of reading this post.
Life Before Worry Ends
The whole notion of worry strikes a chord with me this week based on a couple of interactions I had with people I like very much. In the first case I was the recipient of the other person’s worry. When I told this person about my plans for a maternity leave (3 months completely off and maybe 6) , she emailed this:
I have to be honest. I am concerned about you. I have run my own business since 20xx. You cannot turn work on and off to fit your plans. You have no second income to fall back on. I am concerned that work will not be there exactly when you need it and you may be faced with very limited choices. I don’t want to see you in a difficult situation.
Hmm…sadly I didn’t sleep well that night.
I was the worrier in the other instance. I told a friend, in a heart to heart we had this week, that when she runs really low on money or isn’t sure of her job situation, I really worry about her.
What has been dawning on me since, is that my “concern” is no different than the concern expressed in the email above. Rather than showing my love, care and support, worrying about my friend undermines her ability to take care of herself and land on her feet.
Intention vs Impact
In both cases above, the intention is support. The impact, however, doesn’t feel like support at all. It feels instead like being thrown up upon with a projectile vomit of the fear! Ick!
Single Motherhood and Entrepreneurship
Certainly I have some fears about how single motherhood and entrepreneurship go together. Mostly I manage them well (except in the middle of the night after an email full of worry). I know I am resilient, resourceful, and hardworking. I know I have been financially independent for many years. I know I have always saved well and that having earned well as a sales director in my most recent career is what has given me the freedom to retrain and build my coaching business from the ground up.
Walking Away From Momentum
If most of the opportunities in my current pipeline land, January will be my highest revenue month to date since starting my business in June 2008. In some ways, it feels ironic to be wanting to/ needing to wind down my work by mid February when there is so much momentum, but as my friend Claire points out:
Your baby project and your business have always been parallel pursuits so it’s not ironic that they are both coming to fruition at the same time.
Life After Worry
As a book end to my worrying colleague and my worrying about another friend, this unsolicited comment came from a good friend when I wrote to her that I was proud this week of reaching my revenue targets for Q4.
Congratulations on hitting your targets!!! I certainly show you are able to do itt!!! Isn’t that comforting before you go off on maternity leave? You’ll make this all happen Lisa! I have no doubt in your ability and desire to live the life you want and this is only one milestone!
Even my mom, normally a consumate worrier, said this:
Congratulations on meeting your financial goals. That is awesome given your situation and the fact that you have been feeling so miserable. It is certainly not a matter of luck as you have put so much hard work into this…I know you will find a way.
Now those comments are refreshing. There is no sign of worry or doubt. Only confidence and genuine championing.
The Choice is Yours
So what will it be for you?
To worry about yourself and those around you and project concern all over the place? or,
To stop your worry hamster on his wheel and choose to trust in your own resilience and the strength of others around you?
What would you like to be telling me one year from now (on November 29, 2011) in the major areas of your life, career and business? Here”s what I would like to be telling you:
I am the mother of a healthy 9 month old baby and I love being a mother; I am working with amazing coaching clients and my business didn’t suffer because I took 6 months of maternity leave; I am back to my pre-pregnancy weight and have never felt better/ healthier; I have met a great guy and we really enjoy spending time together.
This past Friday, several business owners and professionals came together to “Finish Strong in 2010…and Play a Bigger Game in 2011″. Denise Desmeules and I facilitated the workshop and coached participants to create their own vision.
Since the process works so well, I want to share it here as my holiday offering to you. It’s a 6 step process to Finish Strong in 2010…and Play a Bigger Game in 2011. Granted, it’s easier to do with a coach in a concentrated focus session or workshop AND you can definitely do it on your own:
Acknowledge what you are proud of in 2010- I am proud of my tenacity in becoming pregnant and my courage in business. What are you proud of?
Take a snap shot of your current reality- there’s a great tool called the Wheel of Life (I have also made one called the Wheel of Business) to help you quickly rate your satisfaction with all the important areas. This simple exercise can be very telling. What’s calling your attention?
Transport yourself into your bigger future- I recommend actually moving to a new physical location (leave that current reality behind) and envision yourself one year (or two, or three..you decide) into the future. This phase has no limitations and a dreamy quality. Let yourself go! In each of the areas of your wheel, what do you want to be saying at x date in the future ? Write one sentence about each area in the wheel. Remember…present tense only! By now, one or two areas are likely really standing out as the areas you need to focus on. Pick one area for now and work through the rest of the steps. You can always come back and worth through steps 3-6 for other areas. Bonus step: You might want to draw your bigger future. This can be an image, a symbol, a metaphor or a bunch of powerful words on a piece of paper. The point is to let your creativity run and capture your dream in picture format rather than just words.
Get clear on the benefits and costs- this step is muy importante! List out what acheiving your bigger future will bring you. On the flip side, get good and clear what it will cost you not to realize your bigger future.
Reduce the tension through action planning- the first step here is to state a S.M.A.R.T. goal and then brainstorm possible actions before you narrow the field. From your brainstormed list, pick a few actions that resonate with you and will truly help move toward your bigger future. And for goodness sake, pick a timeline and tell someone who will help you stay accountable to yourself (again, coaching is great for this AND you can do it with a colleague, a friend, a partner…as long as it’s someone you trust).
Enter the land of commitment!- the final step is as important as every step before it. Simply stated: who do you need to BE in order to achieve your bigger future? Receptive? Tenacious? Open-minded? Free? Passionate? You get to decide what quality will serve you best. Again, I recommend actually drawing a metaphorical line in the floor and stepping over it. Once in the land of commitment, you have a much greater probability of creating your bigger future.
What are you proud of? What’s your current reality? What do you want? What will you have when you get it? What will it cost you if you don’t get it? What steps do you need to take to get where you want to go? And finally, who do you need to BE? Your future is waiting. How can I help?
_________
P.S. By doing steps 2 and 3, you create a gap between where you are now (your current reality) and where you want to be (your bigger future). This is good because nature seeks to resolve this tension according to Robert Fritz. Think of an elastic band stretched between your two hands. The tension reduces when your two hands come together. Same deal for your current reality and your bigger future. The closer they come together, the less tension there will be.
P.S.S. It bears mentioning that when I use “bigger future’ it doesn’t mean bigger = more. Your bigger future might mean less responsibility, fewer material goods etc.
Ian Sherwood plays a house concert at my place in Montreal, Oct 2010
Last night I hosted an intimate and communal experience at my house. Almost 20 people partook and everyone seemed to have a fantastic time. Before you go too far in imagining what I am describing, let me stop you in your tracks. The event last night was a house concert and the artist was Nova Scotia singer/ songwriter Ian Sherwood.
House concerts have been around for centuries (think of chamber music from the middle ages) though the concept of hearing modern music in the home seems somewhat novel. There are some online hubs which create a network of hosts much like the couch suring concept for travellers.
Ian is a good friend of my sister Jill. He and she performed in dinner theatre together more than a decade ago and Ian spent about a month living at my house in Toronto about 5 years ago when he needed a short term rental. When I heard he was passing thru Montreal en route home to Nova Scotia from his latest CD launch in Ontario, we connected and decided he would do a house concert at my place. I had gotten the idea from my cousin Sarah whose boyfriend John Connolly did a recent house concert tour in the west. Ian has done dozens of house concerts and loves them so the idea wasn’t new to him.
Since I am not a music critique (and loved every minute of Ian’s concert last night), I am going to focus instead on the process of hosting a house concert and look at it from a business perspective (as in: the artist as a business person).
With only two weeks lead time and both of us being fully booked with our respective work, we decided we would put the word out via social media (a Facebook event) and that I would send an email invite to my Montreal friends, colleagues and neighbours. We would take whatever response we could get and Ian confirmed it would be worth it for him even if our audience was tiny.
In the end, we were almost 20. Ian played two spectacular sets. He’s an extremely accomplished singer/ songwriter and an incredible storyteller/ entertainer. I looked around the room often and sensed that Ian had really captured his audience.
While my motivation in hosting the concert was twofold: 1) help Ian establish a small following in Montreal and make a little extra money on his short tour 2) host a novel event for friends and neighbours, it’s interesting to look what it took to pull it off and what came out of it.
Inputs:
1-2 hours online creating the FB event invite and inviting people via FB and email;
3-4 hours picking up some groceries, cleaning the house and preparing some food for the concert
Approx $75 on food and wine (with lots leftover because some people brought booze and no one consumed much anyway)
2-3 hours travel and set up/ take down time for Ian from where he was staying in Montreal (and a lot more hours than that to drive back to the Maritimes today)
30 min clean up post concert
Outputs:
3 hours of fantastic music in an intimate living room enviroment for 20 people
Socializing and mingling over a drink before concert and at intermission; perhaps some new connections were formed
Maybe half a dozen CDs sold and an additional $150+ in voluntary donations for Ian
Almost 20 news names/ email addresses for Ian’s database (so he can promote future work/ tours etc.); these same 20 people will remember Ian far better than if they had seen him playing in the background in a bar or coffeehouse
My friend Christina Sciascia attended the concert. She is owner of Shaika Cafe in NDG, a popular coffeehouse that features live music nightly. Ian is welcome to contact her to book a gig.
Smiles on everyone’s faces when they left and lots of praise for Ian’s talent and thanks for my hosting of the event
Net:
Was it worth it for me? Definitely. I thoroughly enjoyed hosting it and hearing the concert. Was it worth it for Ian? He shared my sentiments. He seemed to have a lot of fun and left with a little extra cash and a little bigger following.
Would I do it again? Without question, Ian is welcome to play here if he needs a venue next time he’s in Montreal. I might even host other artists because I have the space and it was fun. I am not plugged into the music scene though so I am not sure where the next artist will come from.
What would I do differently? I would plan the concert a little earlier, sell tickets in advance for a fixed price (as I believe this would generate more revenue for the artist and encourage people to buy a CD the night of the preformance as well), and aim to have 30 or so people in my space (again to make it worth it for the artist).
If this post has sparked your interest in hosting a house concert, I say go for it. You will be building community, encouraging creativity, helping an artist/ solopreneur and you will make yourself happy in the process. What’s to lose?
Here”s a little bonus…Ian performing a portion of Dixieland Dirt Bovine last night from his first album (the video is shot sideways and is very dark. I am a coach not a producer!).
This image is a human embryo five days after a single egg was fertilized with a single sperm cell.
Ultrasound Scan of Fetus at 10 weeks Gestation
This is an ultrasound image of the same embyro at 10 weeks gestation. It already has a beating heart (and had one since 6 weeks gestation).
A view from the outside!
This image, much less clinical, shows the same fetus from the outside. In this image the fetus is 19 weeks old and is the size of a large mango!
And finally…
And if you hadn't guessed already...
Yep, if you hadn’t already guessed…this baby is growing in me. As of today, I am 19 weeks pregnant!
I gave a speech called “Creating a Meaningful Life” last night at my Toastmasters’ Club. I got quite emotional at one point while delivering it. You see, it’s a pretty big milestone for me to be almost halfway through my pregnancy. The road has been long and winding. One surgery, six cycles of increasingly invasive treatments, and 3 previous pregnancies all ending in very early stage miscarriages….this has been the road.
If you had asked me when I was 30 years old what I envisioned for my future family, my answer would have been far more traditional. Now I am embarking on single motherhood (for now). I feel confident the right guy will come along at some point AND I made the decision to proceed anyway because my biological clock was tick tocking really loudly (and yes, it really does become a lot more difficult for many women to conceive after their mid thirties).
Fear, anger, sadness, confusion, uncertainty and even jealousy–these were some of the emotions I cycled in and out of over the past few years. And the doubt. Oh my goodness the doubt! When things weren’t going well I would ask myself,
Is this a sign that I am not meant to be a mother?
Is it time to pursue adoption?
And the most difficult question of all (and one I came to hate because I really struggled with it)
Do I even want to be a mother anyway???
Fortunately for me, I had many cheerleaders along my winding road, most of them mothers themselves. They, in my darkest moments of doubt, affirmed that having a child would be my greatest joy and that I needed to continue on the road to create this in my life. I am so grateful to these women. They know who they are.
We recently read A Million Miles in a Thousand Years for our bookclub. The premise is essentially this: that we create meaning in our lives by the stories we live. Our lives, just like great movies, are more meaningful when the main character wants something and overcomes conflict to get it.
Well this story, my current story, still in progress, is creating great meaning in my life. And I needed to share it simply because I am looking at my life, my business, and my future though a different lens these days. I am still the same me. I still want to be a masterful coach helping high-aspiration business owners and professionals create their great story. I still want to be a loving daughter and sister and a true blue friend. And I still want to tango.
So don’t count me out. In fact, count me in more than ever. The plot is about to thicken. And so is my waistline!
Regis Philbin and Kelly Ripa broadcast their show on the waterfront in Charlottetown. Photo from The Guardian.
Regis Philbin and Kelly Ripa have been on PEI since the weekend. There visit has been much anticipated. I can see why. Today I finally had time to tune in and see Live with Regis and Kelly: Prince Edward Island, shot on location at Confederation Landing in my hometown.
I cried when I saw such hometown pride among the huge local audience (and to see my parents’ house across the Ch’town Harbour in the background of their stage). Okay, the piping music helped bring on my tears. I always cry when I hear pipers.
Over and over they show our red cliffs, pristine beaches, and succulent seafood. And this has been going on for weeks. Viewers could win a trip to PEI before Regis and Kelly were ever on location. A few weeks ago, neither Regis or Kelly had ever heard of PEI. Now millions of their viewers are getting to know the island rather intimately. Regis “hunts” for lobster; Kelly goes horseback riding in what looks like Crowbush. They rave about the food, the people, the scenery and island hospitality.
My parents and my Facebook friends have talked of little else all week. My sister, who lives in Nova Scotia, wrote on FB that she’d rather “get ripped” than see Kelly Ripa but she was joking (and with two little boys she no longer remembers what the word ”ripped” even means). As a PR and advertising/ sales professional she knows brilliant messaging when she sees it.
And it’s not just a win for PEI. Live with Regis and Kelly have enjoyed the largest ever Canadian following for their 3 shows to date in PEI. According to Executive Producer Michael Gelman (as quoted by the CBC), the shows from P.E.I. have generated more response than any other remote broadcast. Earlier on Monday, P.E.I. ranked number two in the top Google searches in the United States!
Apparently Melissa MacEachern at Tourism PEI is responsible for bringing Live with Regis and Kelly to PEI; my hat is off to her. The Chronicle Herald says the investment was $1Million but worth $4+Million l. A stunning set, marvelous coverage, tons of fun for islanders and surely a spike in curiousity (and hopefully visits among those who tuned in) is definitely worth that spend.
If you are curious, you can catch the last episode tomorrow (Thursday, July 15th)!
Yesterday Seth wrote Goodbye to the office. His timing was good. I a have sublet my city place and tomorrow I am moving to a cottage in The Laurentians until mid September. My cottage will be my summer office (and playground too).
I will be packing:
A Rogers rocket stick for internet;
My laptop and printer;
A decent long distance plan for telephone coaching;
My hard files and office supplies
I am happily giving up:
My current routine;
Access to the Metro 5 min away (I will drive to the city weekly to see propects and clients…it is only an hour’s drive)
Full time city living, for now;
Because I am gaining:
A lake to swim and a dock to write from each morning;
Tall trees, flowers and country air;
A fun place to host friends for long weekends and colleagues for some collaborations;
When you need to have a meeting, have a meeting. When you need to collaborate, collaborate. The rest of the time, do the work, wherever you like.
My “wherever I like” is an office on a dock. It’s my place to do things differently for 3 months…to expand my village. If you want to reach me there, email me for details. I’ve packed my rocket stick.
I am just back from a weekend in Toronto with my dear friend and business partner Tanya (hereto forward known as Tanya with no preamble about how we are both best friends and business partners!). The working weekend was set up about a week ago when we recognized that some face time was our answer to busting through the Seth Godin style resistance our lizard brains had been mounting at various times over the past month about next steps for our beloved Coach Buffet.
After a couple of successful Coach Buffet events in the fall and some demand for more, we found ourselves royally stuck. A new approach was the answer, we decided, so we spent several meetings in January designing a new virtual approach. And then, lizard brain again. It seemed that something was keeping us from moving forward to ship it out and make it happen.
As part of our weekend plans, we decided it was important to include some fun. We recognize that while all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy, it makes us grumpy and grumpier! As coaches, we also know that inspiration can be found in funny places. Tanya challenged me to come up with something we could do during our visit that would be so memorable that I would write about it in my 2010 recap of what I am most proud of. No pressure.
You guessed it. Once again. Stuck. Zut, alors. What could we do? I help my coaching clients get unstuck on a daily basis and there I was stuck again.
Luckily, when you have a business partner who is also a coach, you don’t have to stay stuck for long. Together we brainstormed a challenge for ourselves that very well could make the ranks of things I am most proud of in 2010.
Our challenge:
Make a meal together for Saturday night. Big deal, right? Hold on.
The rules:
Visit at least 3-4 foodie neighbourhoods in Toronto together
Spend exactly $50 each and not a penny more (Tanya’s husband Greg sprang for the wine)
Split up to make purchases
Make no menu plans in advance
Hide our purchases from each other for the entire day. In other words, NO discussion on what we were each buying independently for our joint meal
Make a full meal together that would include every single ingredient we bought.
Eat every dish.
Insist that Greg eat every dish
The results? A pinch of stuck, a sprinkling of anxiety, heaping scoops of laughter, and five surprizing courses. All this and some almost espionage too. You will have to read my next post for that.
Most of us go on hero’s journeys in our lives and businesses. The idea of the hero’s journey or monomyth originally came from Joseph Campbell and had 17 steps. I learned about a 7 step version on a group coaching call this week and raced to draw it for you (I still love that grade 6 feeling of using markers and Bristol board).
So dawn your metaphorical cape and tights. As you read through these stages, think about your current business and life journeys. Plot where you are right now. I would love to tell you where I think I am in my life and business journeys, but I would rather keep you guessing.
The promised 7 steps of the hero’s journey:
1) Innocence-your life or business is ticking along. It might be dull but it’s safe and things are working.
2) Call to Adventure- you start to hear a calling to make a big change and it gets louder and louder (i.e. quite your job, buy the competition, climb Aconcagua…this is a plug for Coach Ian Renaud and his Project R.I.R.E…it is in French only)
3) Threshold Guardians- as soon as you decide to heed the call, guardians or protectors are sure to emerge. Their goal is to send you back to innocence (i.e. your wife who doesn’t want you to resign, your mortgage, your own sabotaging voices that tell you that you are crazy and you will surely fail)
Many people return to innocence at this stage, too scared to go on. Or as my mentor coach says, “they buy a big screen TV” and forget about the call altogether (although life becomes shades of grey even if the TV is in HD).
4) Road to Adventure- you made it past those powerful threshold guardians. Congratulations. You are on a journey of challenges, excitement, intrigue, and learning (i.e. you are building your business, traveling the world). Times are good. You feel free and full of hope.
5) Principal Ordeal- and then…seemingly out of the blue, you start feeling confused and trapped. You have come too far to go back to safety and yet you don’t know how to go on. This stage is not called the Principal Ordeal for nothing. It will really test your metal. You don’t know how long you will be stuck here and how you will go on, but go on you must (Hint: you need to get really quiet when you are here…the answers are inside you somewhere).
6) Flight/ Return- Yippee! Somehow you got silent. You found your way out of the fog. Your purpose is clear again and you know what you have to do to get the proverbial treasure back home (i.e. redefining your business offering, moving to a new city). Whatever the ordeal is for you, you found a way out of it and now you are on your flight to freedom again having “slayed the dragon”.
7) Celebration and Service- You made it. Perhaps you are hometown hero. Perhaps it is just a quiet victory. Whatever the case, you get to celebrate your success and share your treasures/ learnings. Revel in the victory and innocence of this time of celebration. Serve others. And keep your eyes and ears open. If you are true hero, your next call to adventure won’t be far away!
Where are you in the hero’s journey of your life or business? Tell us by commenting.
Soup is your metaphor for the week, Cancerian. Symbolically speaking, it’s the key to your personal power and a model for the approach you should take in everything you do. On the most basic level, you might want to eat some soup every day. That will make potent suggestions to your subconscious mind about how to mix lots of ingredients together so that their value and beauty as a totality are more than the sum of their parts. Not just in the kitchen, but in every area of your life, blend little miscellaneous things into one big interesting thing.
You might think it flaky for a business coach to start a post with her kooky horoscope. Not so in my books. Metaphors like this are rich and are not to be overlooked.
In my case, the biggest soup I have been cooking lately is Coach Buffet. My co-chef is Tanya Geisler. We hosted our first ever Coach Buffet in Montreal last night. And late late, after everything was wrapped up, with our mouths yawning and our eyes half closing, we read evaluation after evaluation. The verdict: Coach Buffet #1 was a resounding success.
The recipe:
Creativity to dream a vision the guts and drive to make it happen
A business partnership and coaching every step of the way
Participants (professional and business owners) who, as early adopters, showed up fully…hungry for coaching and possibility
Friends and family who supported us through our first event (i.e. for registration, time keeping, photography/ design, spreading the word, access to venue and encouragement)
Openness to the miscellaneous things that will make this “soup” better and better and better
Back to the horoscope. I haven’t been eating soup daily. Frankly because I like making it for others far more than I enjoy eating it myself. Coach Buffet was this for me. We made the metaphorical soup and while others feasted, we were nourished.
Now, metaphors aside. We are building a scalable business franchise model. You will hear more about Coach Buffet.
Coach Buffet Toronto takes place on Tuesday, November 17th. Register online.
She describes her Synkro event as a Tour de Force…an opportunity to make people feel good and dance more. And it is. And so is she! She’s the M Girl– Annie Cremont–owner of ExperiencesM and creator of Synkro.
Part of Synkro’s charm is its mystic. My friend and coach colleague who invited me to Synkro in May said she had no idea what to expect but she “expected” it to be very unique based on her exchanges with Annie. You can say that again! I was amazed how quickly M-Girl and her team created a “let your hair down” space for the room full of 30/40/50 somethings. And that was just the beginning. We danced, and danced and danced. And at the end of the evening, I felt like I had been coached and cleansed. My head was clear and my heart was calm.
Dancing makes people feel good. It helps them get in sync with their mind and body. It is my personal mission to make 1 million people dance in the next three years.
I know she will succeed. But in case you think Annie is another Where the hell is Matt?, she’s not. While they both have big visions, an international focus, and a love of getting people to dance, Synkro is a a fully integrated, tested program that helps initially self -conscious people to get in touch with their own unique rhythm as a form of communication.
It is the perfect program to open or close a big conference or corporate meeting. It is also a perfect event to raise money for health and wellness because it helps people be in touch with themselves.
At a recent convention in Phoenix, Arizona, for the National Speakers Association (NSA), a show case for North America’s top speakers, many eyes were turned her way. She believes her timing to enter the US market is perfect.
As the economy comes out of recession under Obama’s leadership, the US is more open than ever to doing things differently. The US needs to dance!
M-Girl knows what she is talking about and she knows how to sell her concept. In 1999, fresh out of business school at HEC, Annie created Station M, an advertising and marketing agency. That gave her almost a decade of experience and a very large network. In 2008, she made a life altering decision to wind down Station M operations and pursue her dream to develop Synkro. She followed her gut when she realized that the 2-3 minute dance portion she added into each presentation she did on selling was the highlight for her and her audience.
Annie Cremont, the M-Girl, is a spectacular example of someone who is following her dreams and living her life aligned to her values. She radiates energy; she is smart and generous and she is going to make a million people dance by 2011.
If you would like to have a Synkro experience in Montreal, check out Annie’s special invitation for Monday Auguest 17th. She’s running a pilot and the costs are on her. If you miss out on the 17th, you can register for her next live Synkro which will be held at Gallery Art Avenue in Old Montreal on September 30th.
Andrea Shepherd left her full time job as an editor at the Montreal Gazette to follow her childhood dream of opening a dance studio; her partner, Wolf Mercado Alatrista, who maintains a full time job at the YMCA to keep their family afloat during their start up phase, is also following his dream. Together, they are the founders of MonTango a thriving tango studio in NDG, Montreal.
Andrea and Wolf
All totalled, Wolf and Andrea have danced Argentine tango for more than 20 years. They taught together before deciding to open MonTango. Now, a year in, they see how their ability to “dance in the moment” with each other on the dance floor and in life helps them run their business. Andrea manages operations, communications and instructs. Wolf focuses on the client experience and instruction.
While MonTango’s initial mission was to teach people to tango, it now expands to creating community. Andrea says,
Bringing people together and creating friendships wasn’t our original purpose but it has become a wonderful by-product and is so rewarding.
You have only to spend an hour at a Sunday afternoon Cafe Croissant Tango to see that they have succeeded wildly on this count. And it is not by accident. Wolf and Andrea, and their teaching staff, regularly dance with beginner and advanced students, giving freely of their time, their enthusiasm and their instruction.
Of course, one doesn’t live on goodwill alone and dance studios are notoriously risky businesses. Expensive rent for studio space, competition, and changing dance fads can wreak havoc with the business model. Happily, social dance has never been more popular with shows like So You Think You Can Dance. It helps that Montreal is the tango capital of North America and that interest in tango, the most complicated and wonderful of the social dances (emphasis all mine!) shows no sign of slowing down. Even in a down economy with a lot of competition for students, MonTango has doubled its student number since last year.
The current supportive climate and endless hours working on and in the business have ensured their general trend in revenue is upward. Nonetheless, their dance in business has not been without hiccups. Some near misses have taught them:
Everything takes longer than expected (time management/ priority setting is key);
Word of mouth/ referrals are their key to successful growth because other marketing can be expensive or inefficient;
Hiring help in their areas of weakness (i.e. accounting) is necessary;
Finding teaching staff that will embrace their mission and follow their MonTango methodologies can be time consuming but is essential to ensuring students have a MonTango experience;
Preventing the business from creeping into all aspects of their family time is an ongoing challenge and a work in progress.
April marked MonTango’s one year anniversary. We celebrated by dancing tango to live music by Ensemble Montreal Tango. More than 120 tangueros/ tangeuras joined in the festivities. For MonTango, we, tango aficionados all, are more than clients. We are a community of friends. And what business doesn’t need friends?
So….If life is a tango, will you sit it out or dance?
If dance is your reply, MonTango invites you to try one of their free introductory lessons, from June 22 to 25 at 6 p.m. at 5588A Sherbrooke St. W. (corner Marcil). They will also hold tango dancing at NDG Park (across the street from the studio) every Friday from June 26 to Aug. 28 between 6 and 9 p.m. For info, click here or call 514-486-5588.
My learning and self discovery en route to coaching certification has been an extraordinary experience for me. I have been rewarded with amazing clients and coach colleagues. I delight daily in seeing my clients shape courageous actions in their lives and businesses. And I am continually inspired by my many coach colleagues with whom I share a vision of bringing a higher order of consciousness to the world.
Tango at the South Street Seaport, NYC, as taken recently by Christian Boulay (Montreal tango dancer)
When my clients reach a milestone in their lives, I coach them to pause and come up with a way to celebrate. So often in life, we brush off our successes and immediately set our sights on what is next. This Sunday I will move the furniture, put on my tango shoes, and raise a glass with friends and colleagues as I host a Tango BBQ to mark my certification in coaching.
What are you celebrating in life and business? How will you mark the occasion?
I just sold my Toronto house on Friday. With these record low interest rates, the first time home buyers’ market is an active one. Within one week there was 45 showings and over 50 people at each open house. I wasn’t suprized by the interest as my house is in a great location and is cute as a button. That being said, it was built around 1870 for railway workers in Toronto’s east end and over the years it has aquired quite a tilt. As such, “the house that Jack built” didn’t appeal to everyone. Happily though, it did appeal to one couple who will be the new owners starting in July.
Now there is a story behind that story and it’s not about real estate. For the past two years, my house has been rented to a wonderful woman. She’s kind, intelligent, and generous. And those are just a few of her qualities. I liked her from the very beginning and our (absentee) landlord/ tenant relationship has always been easy, straightforward and full of respect. On a few occasions, we have even gone out for drinks together while I was visiting Toronto. On my last business trip there, she made a wonderful dinner for me and a couple of my friends at my (her) house!
And finally this leads me to the story behind the story behind the story! Just before Christmas last year, one of my Toronto coach colleagues was passing through Montreal. This guy is salt of the earth. Over a beer, we got to talking about his romantic life or more to the point–the lack there of. For fun, I challenged him to invite someone on a date before Christmas as a way to get back in the groove. He said he would take it into consideration but stopped short of committing to do it.
Fast forward a few weeks….I was in Toronto and had drinks with my tenant. A light went on. After spending about a half hour hearing about her casual (read: frustrating) relationship that didn’t seem even close to what she wanted, I asked her if she would be open to having a drink with my coach friend. True to her fun loving and open nature, she said “Sure. Give him my #!”. I had no idea whether they would be a match and I wasn’t attached to any outcome. I later contacted my coach friend to put a bug in his ear. With a little coaxing, he said he was willing to contact her but it would have to wait until after Christmas. He was just too busy, you see!
Well here is where all the stories line up. Last Friday, as soon as the house negotiations were complete, I called my tenant to tell her the news. She’d been amazingly supportive of my efforts to sell and I wanted to let her know she wouldn’t have to endure any more showings. And as it turns out, she had some news of her own. My tenant and my coach friend are getting married on June 18th. They are already shopping for a house of their own
Who says business and pleasure don’t mix? When there is trust, mutual respect, good communication and integrity in a personal or business relationship, anything is possible.
So you have a long “to do” list and a few of the same pesky items keep showing up week after week. You just can’t seem to knock them off your list. Maybe your reoccurring list looks a bit like this:
· Update contact management software (but you hate IT stuff!)
·Call people you met at recent Board of Trade breakfast (but what will I say?)
·Decide yes or no re: PR proposal (is it PR I need or should I spend $ on direct mail?)
You get the picture. Whatever the tasks, we all have our so called reasons for not getting them done, whether due to fear, indecision, boredom or dislike.
So try this. Set up an accountability partnership. I define this as a regular check in with a colleague or friend for the purposes of support and accountability. I have a telephone accountability partnership with a friend and fellow business owner who is based in Toronto (in fact, our partnership was her idea). We meet every Monday for an hour via phone. If it seems like a lot, I assure you it is one of the most valuable hours in my week.
Accountability meeting (30 min for her/ 30 min for me).
Check in on where we stand relative to the commitments we made from the previous week.
Decide on key things we will commit to for the week ahead.
Have fun. Challenge each other. Champion each other.
Every week we challenge each other to do what is “closest to cash” or sometimes what is closest to our hearts’ desire. We care about each others’ success and happiness. For this we are willing to push each other quite hard which isn’t always comfortable yet is usually very rewarding for us both.
So if you want that great feeling that comes with momentum and support, less procrastination, and greatly increased productivity, set up an accountability partnership of your own.
Here’s what I recommend:
Choose your partner well. Partner with someone you trust and respect, who is reliable and shares your work ethic. Pick a coach-like person who is a great listener and challenger and is curious. Ensure there is mutual benefit. One sided partnerships are like clapping with one hand…not very effective.
Design your partnership. Agree on your joint purpose for meeting, when you will meet, for how long, what the agenda will be, how you will keep each other accountable.
Take it seriously. More than just busting through procrastination, you are setting up a structure that will give you support and guidance and help you achieve what you want (i.e. getting more clients/ customers, raising your profile, learning to delegate, having more fun in your business etc.)
Have fun. You are creating a really powerful tool to help you in life and business. Keep it alive by making it playful. Celebrate your successes together. This may well become the highlight of your week.
An accountability partnership doesn’t replace being coached but it sure is a great set up for busting through procrastination and reducing isolation. In my case, I have a top notch business coach and a wonderful accountability partnership. I wouldn’t have it any other way!
Stay tuned for procrasination buster #2 in my next post.
So you might readily agree that one could draw parallels between tango and sex. I go so far as to say there are parallels between tango and business and specifically that there are common characteristics between tango dancers and entrepreneurs. And it has nothing to do with sex.
Hear me out. For starters, is there any dance more complicated to learn than Argentine tango? Is there any business more challenging that an entrepreneurial venture?
Leadership
There is no tango without a leader; there is no new business venture without an entrepreneur.
Improvisation and multi-tasking mastery
In tango, the leader must lead the dance, navigate the busy dance floor, and keep time with the music, all the while connecting with his follower. And Argentine tango is an entirely improvised dance. There is no blueprint to follow. It is made up in the moment. The entrepreneur juggles planning, operations, finance/ accounting, marketing and human resources, to name a few. No one hands her a set plan to follow for any of this though successful entrepreneurs usually write their own plan and improvise as they come up against new things.
The art of attraction
The best tanguero offers the entire package: skill/ technique, a sharp appearance, grace and respect. The successful entrepreneur is always skilful, presents himself professionally and believes in his product or service. He ensures that customers, employees and investors want to dance with him…and preferably repeatedly.
Finely tuned Intuition/ instinct
The seasoned tanguera dances like she has eyes in the back of her head. She can sense her next move even before it’s invited and yet she knows not to step until she feels the lead. She trusts her partner and herself. The best entrepreneurs are so in tune with their vision, their stakeholders and their business climate, they can feel in their bones what they should do and when to do it. And they know that even if their interpretation is off, they will learn from it for next time.
Responsibility/ Partnership
You’ve oft heard “it takes two to tango”. Well, it truly does. And whether you know it or not, both partners must maintain their own axis (balance) at all times. Both partners are creators in the dance just as the entrepreneur is the creator of his destiny. “Off axis” moves require a supportive partner. The astute entrepreneur knows when he is off axis and has fostered partners to lean on during those times. In fact, the true entrepreneur will intentionally take himself off axis to explore areas for growth!
And finally PASSION
Did you think I would forget? Without it, the tango is not worth dancing; in business, no passion means the shop doors might as well close because no one will want to walk through them. So if you are a passionless tango dancer or business entrepreneur…dear me… either find your passion or get a job and learn the waltz!
Impeccability, being without fault or error, is something to strive for in business. And it doesn’t have to take on the heavy “absence of sin” definition. So, go ahead…succeed wildly and make lots of room for mistakes too. In fact, fail and fail again. As long as you learn each time and ask yourself how you can be more impeccable the next time, you are golden.
Here’s my top ten list on Business Impeccability:
Intentions matter. Get clear on what you want for your business, your customers and your employees.
Mentor. Share your gifts.
Pay on time.
Educate yourself every chance you get.
Coach and champion your employees. And get your own coach. You need a champion too.
Celebrate your successes (and failures) with those who helped you. Take time to stop and assess what you learned.
Admit when you have screwed up.
Be punctual—for meetings, on deliverables, returning phone calls—on everything. If you are going to be late, CALL!
Listen deeply…to your employees, your customers and to your own intuition.
Entertain what you would rather avoid.Go to the difficult places with customers and employees.There is honey there.You and your business will be rewarded for it.
“Impeccable” has 10 letters. The perfect number for a top ten list. Now that’s impeccable!
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M-Girl knows what she is talking about and she knows how to sell her concept. In 1999, fresh out of business school at 
That being said, it was built around 1870 for railway workers in Toronto’s east end and over the years it has aquired quite a tilt. As such, “the house that Jack built” didn’t appeal to everyone. Happily though, it did appeal to one couple who will be the new owners starting in July.
