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Posts Tagged ‘saboteur’


Business Experiments in the Test Kitchen of Life

February 8th, 2010 in Uncategorized comment No Comments »

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I am just back from a weekend in Toronto with my dear friend and business partner Tanya (hereto forward known as Tanya with no preamble about how we are both best friends and business partners!).  The working weekend was set up about a week ago when we recognized that some face time was our answer to busting through the Seth Godin style resistance our lizard brains had been mounting at various times over the past month about next steps for our beloved Coach Buffet.

After a couple of successful Coach Buffet events in the fall and some demand for more, we found ourselves royally stuck.  A new approach was the answer, we decided, so we spent several meetings in January designing a new virtual approach. And then, lizard brain again.  It seemed that something was keeping us from moving forward to ship it out and make it happen. 

As part of our weekend plans, we decided it was important to include some fun. We recognize that while all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy, it makes us grumpy and grumpier!  As coaches, we also know that inspiration can be found in funny places.  Tanya challenged me to come up with something we could do during our visit that would be so memorable that I would write about it in my 2010 recap of what I am most proud of.  No pressure.

You guessed it.  Once again.  Stuck.  Zut, alors. What could we do?  I help my coaching clients get unstuck on a daily basis and there I was stuck again. 

Luckily, when you have a business partner who is also a coach, you don’t have to stay stuck for long.  Together we brainstormed a challenge for ourselves that very well could make the ranks of things I am most proud of in 2010.

Our challenge:

Make a meal together for Saturday night. Big deal, right?  Hold on.

The rules:

  1. Visit at least 3-4 foodie neighbourhoods in Toronto together
  2. Spend exactly $50 each and not a penny more (Tanya’s husband Greg sprang for the wine)
  3. Split up to make purchases
  4. Make no menu plans in advance
  5. Hide our purchases from each other for the entire day. In other words, NO discussion on what we were each buying independently for our joint meal
  6. Make a full meal together that would include every single ingredient we bought.
  7. Eat every dish.
  8. Insist that Greg eat every dish :)

The results?  A pinch of stuck, a sprinkling of anxiety, heaping scoops of laughter, and five surprizing courses.  All this and some almost espionage too.  You will have to read my next post for that.

What I Learned This Week: The Hero’s Journey

November 26th, 2009 in Uncategorized comment 7 Comments »

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Most of us go on hero’s journeys in our lives and businesses. The idea of the hero’s journey or monomyth originally came from Joseph Campbell and had 17 steps.  I learned about a 7 step version on a group coaching call this week and raced to draw it for you (I still love that grade 6 feeling of using markers and Bristol board). 

So dawn your metaphorical cape and tights.  As you read through these stages, think about your current business and life journeys.  Plot where you are right now. I would love to tell you where I think I am in my life and business journeys, but I would rather keep you guessing.

The promised 7 steps of the hero’s journey:

1) Innocence-your life or business is ticking along. It might be dull but it’s safe and things are working.

2) Call to Adventure- you start to hear a calling to make a big change and it gets louder and louder (i.e. quite your job, buy the competition, climb Aconcagua…this is a plug for Coach Ian Renaud and his Project R.I.R.E…it is in French only)   

3) Threshold Guardians- as soon as you decide to heed the call, guardians or protectors are sure to emerge. Their goal is to send you back to innocence (i.e.  your wife who doesn’t want you to resign, your mortgage, your own sabotaging voices that tell you that you are crazy and you will surely fail)

Many people return to innocence at this stage, too scared to go on.  Or as my mentor coach says, “they buy a big screen TV” and forget about the call altogether (although life becomes shades of grey even if the TV is in HD).

4) Road to Adventure- you made it past those powerful threshold guardians. Congratulations. You are on a journey of challenges, excitement, intrigue, and learning (i.e. you are building your business, traveling the world).  Times are good.  You feel free and full of hope.  

5) Principal Ordeal- and then…seemingly out of the blue, you start feeling confused and trapped.  You have come too far to go back to safety and yet you don’t know how to go on.  This stage is not called the Principal Ordeal for nothing.  It will really test your metal.  You don’t know how long you will be stuck here and how you will go on, but go on you must (Hint: you need to get really quiet when you are here…the answers are inside you somewhere). 

6) Flight/ Return- Yippee! Somehow you got silent. You found your way out of the fog. Your purpose is clear again and you know what you have to do to get the proverbial treasure back home (i.e. redefining your business offering, moving to a new city).  Whatever the ordeal is for you, you found a way out of it and now you are on your flight to freedom again having “slayed the dragon”.

7) Celebration and Service- You made it. Perhaps you are hometown hero. Perhaps it is just a quiet victory.  Whatever the case, you get to celebrate your success and share your treasures/ learnings. Revel in the victory and innocence of this time of celebration. Serve others. And keep your eyes and ears open.   If you are true hero, your next call to adventure won’t be far away!

Where are you in the hero’s journey of your life or business? Tell us by commenting.

Colluding with the Saboteur

February 4th, 2009 in Uncategorized comment No Comments »

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I was supervised today on a coaching session I recorded several weeks ago (with my client’s permission, of course). The verdict: I was colluding with my client’s saboteur.  Guilty as charged![1] 

So what does this mean exactly? What are the consequences? Can one go to jail for this?

The saboteur concept embodies a group of thought processes and feelings that maintains the status quo in our lives. It often appears to be a structure that protects us, but, in fact, it prevents us from moving forward and getting what we truly want in life.  The Saboteur will always be with us. It is neither good nor bad; it just is!  The Saboteur loses power over us when we can identify it for what it is, notice our options in the situation, and then consciously choose the action we really want at that time (as defined in Co-Active Coaching by L. Whitworth, K. and H. Kimsey-House and P Sandahl).

Saboteur movie poster from www.impawards.com/1942/posters/saboteur.jpg

Saboteur movie poster from www.impawards.com/1942/posters/saboteur.jpg

 

Most of my friends, family, colleagues and clients have a saboteur or two, if not a whole committee.  At first it was a hard concept for me to understand given that I have none (she said, tongue in cheek). Life Coach Martha Beck calls them les bêtes noires (black beasts). Her article, “8 Steps to Conquer the Beast Within” in this month’s O Magazine explains the concept beautifully(http://www.oprah.com/article/omagazine/200902_omag_beck) and offers a step by step process to tame the beast within.  On reading it, I feel it has great merit. I haven’t had time to try it yet myself.  

 

 

 

In coaching, the trick is to coach the client and not his saboteur. Of course, they are tricky and conniving and sometimes masquerade really well (here I am speaking of saboteurs!).  Sometimes the coach gets duped and gets in cohoots with the saboteur.  This is what happened in the session I mention above.  And admittedly, while I was in it, I didn’t see the forest for the trees.

 

 I fell into the trap of sympathizing with a voice coming from the client that was all about the “Ya buts”. 

“What about doing XYZ, I asked?”

 “Ya,” responded my client, “but I feel really shy about doing that”.

 “What would work for you?” I countered.

“I don’t know”, was the familiar reply. 

This is the dialogue of a client caught in the grip of a saboteur. He cannot see that it’s not him speaking his truth.  It’s his saboteur talking. The internal dialogue might be something along the lines of “Hey you! You can’t do that; you might look really stupid and you could fail. What will people think? Elizbeth will think you are a loser of a boyfriend. The people at work might find out you aren’t such a hotshot after all. Then what??? You can’t let this happen!”. 

 

So, I am on the look out for saboteurs now more than ever before.  If I find myself talking to one of yours, please excuse me in advance if I don’t seem all that engaged. I would rather talk to you.  And in the meantime, try Martha’s 8 steps.  You might even make friends with your own version of Mr. Perfect Pants.

[1] This entry is based on real feedback from a coaching supervision session.  However, due to the confidential nature of coaching, all client details have been changed.